Welcome to the 20’s Divas! The end of a decade and the start of a new era. I’ve decided to take a bit of a change with my blog. I want to get more personal and relatable while showing off all that is me. I am not a fan of sticking to one certain niche or category, as I am more than just a plus-size woman, or someone who has low self-esteem, or a mom, or a lover of all things beauty. To get me in one of these areas means you need to have me in all areas of my life.
Starting today, I have decided to treat this more like a journal-style blog of sorts. I will still show off my styling skills and what beauty products I am loving, but you are going to have the opportunity to get to know me and all of me. What better way to start things off by telling you what three words, I feel, l best describe myself.
When I find something that I like or care about, I go in full force. Growing up, I never had a real boyfriend until my senior year in high school. Since then, I had always looked at dating as trying to find the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Casually dating someone was not my thing. Why bother? I didn’t want to waste my time, or theirs if things weren’t going to go anywhere. Until I met Josh, none of my “relationships” ever lasted more than 3 months. Either the guy broke it off because he wasn’t ready for something that heavy, or I knew that this was not how I wanted my life to be and ended it.
Take blogging for example. I had no flipping clue what I was doing, but when I decided I wanted to try I went in full force before doing any research. How hard could it be? I get a domain and just start typing right? The past three years have taught me that there is a lot more to blogging than just typing. Just because I type it, doesn’t mean people will come. However, this hasn’t stopped me from wanting every part that comes with it, and at least my computer can’t run away from me!
When I find something I like, I want to know more about it. I want to immerse myself in any information I can get my hands on to learn about, or I might just skip all of that and try the whole learn as you go approach. A healthy mixture of both of these forms is what I usually go with. When I got my first big girl camera, I started taking a couple of camera classes at a local shop, but have also just tried figuring things out for myself to see what works and what doesn’t. (Kinda like what I’m attempting this year with my blog) So know that if I take an interest in something or someone, know that I am in with my whole being.
I am huge on all things arty and DIY. Why buy something for $8 when I can spend $97.86 at the craft store and make it myself? If there is something I can do that gets my crafty and artistic juices flowing, I’m all for it. This also ties back into my passionate side. Once I find a craft that I enjoy, I will fully immerse myself into it.
Fun fact, I am a third-generation crocheter. Before I got married, my mom taught me some basic techniques for crochet. She learned from grandma. Though I will say it was a little tricky learning from my mom as she is left-handed and I am right-handed. Regardless, I have so many different books that I used to flip through and have made several blankets for people. When I got pregnant, I had started making a blanket for my daughter but was never able to finish it. It has been almost 4 years now and I have not had the chance to get back to it. I’ve found other ways to get the creativity flowing.
A couple of years ago I took some cake decorating and while I love making the beautiful decorations, I had the cleanup part. Now, I get to use writing as my creative outlet. Ever since I was little I had always dreamt of writing a book. I was too scared to do it however, not knowing where to begin and afraid that I would just end up copying a story that I had read somewhere else. With my blog, I can write about something that no one else can. Myself. Ok, I know how narcissistic that sounds but that isn’t what I mean. I want to share my journey and experiences with anyone willing to listen in hopes that someone, somewhere, realizes they are not alone in the way that they feel.
Ok, so I know I could come up with three positive words to describe myself but then what is the fun in that? The point of this new direction is that I open myself up and I share all of me included that so good. I am absolutely a fearful person. I read or hear stories about these amazing women who go after their dreams and work their butts off and as much as I want to do that, it scares me. More so the thought of failure.
It scares me to think that I could fail or disappoint someone. I never wanted to disappoint my parents and always tried to be the perfect daughter for them. Even when I felt like I couldn’t do that. I’m fearful of disappointing my husband or my daughter. I want to make them both proud of me. As much as I would love to be able to jump off that cliff, the thought of failing terrifies me.
I relate failure to disappointment. If I have failed at something, it means I have disappointed someone and I can’t have that. You can sit there and say that no one is perfect and everyone fails at something in their lives. I get it, I do. There is just something in me that always saying I can’t let these people down. Is this something I need to work on? Oh, for sure! Will I ever get over this? Maybe, maybe not.
I hope that you have enjoyed getting to know a little more about me. I’m setting the pace for the rest of the year and will
hopefully stay on track. Check out the link below to shop the styles you see in this post and I will see you all next week!