The journey to self love can seem like a long daunting road. It can feel like there are more downs than ups. For me, everyday it’s an internal fight I’m having with myself. A couple months ago someone told me that they have learned the skill of self acceptance. This idea intrigued me and I figured why not try out this new way of thinking.
Self Acceptance Pit Stop
At times…most of the time for me anyways, the journey to self love can seem like a never ending uphill battle. It can leave us so discouraged so easily that we just give up and go back to the lonely place of hate. So how do we avoid this? How do we make sure that we aren’t doing more damage than good? There has to be an in between from self hate and self love. This is where we find self acceptance. A neutral point…..like Sweden!! Another way you can think of it is like this; if you were going to travel from New York to Hawaii you wouldn’t be able to make the journey in one flight. You have to have a lay over or “pit stop” in California before continuing on to your destination. That’s what self acceptance is, a pit stop on your way to self love.
Take Time And Explore The Idea
Wouldn’t it be nice to push that hate to the side and just open yourself up to acceptance? It can be easy for me to sit here and type this. But honestly, as much as I want to believe in this and own this I still fight and struggle with my demons. It’s a constant fight with thinking that I’ll be happier if I could just drop 50 lbs and just wanting to be HAPPY. I’m not saying that we have to love our bodies completely. We can use this space as a stepping stone while still working towards bettering ourselves.
A blogger buddy of mine recently did a post called 5 Signs You’re Doing Better Than You Think You Are. The first sign is knowing that you aren’t the same person you were a year ago. Not only am I different than where I was a year ago, but I am different than I was two years ago, five years ago. I’ve slowly been climbing out the whole I was put in years ago. As long as you are working towards bettering yourself, it’s okay to not be fully committed to self love. I can accept, and know, that the person I am is doing better than the person I was.
“I can finally say I HAVE GOALS! Yes I am yelling lol. My husband asked me a couple of years into our relationship while we were dating what were my goals. I really didn’t know how to answer that. For a long time, my goals were to make money, continue to move up and then retire sitting pretty with a nice 401K. Well, God had other plans when I married my husband/Pastor and I became a first lady. I REALLY was lost on what my goals were suppose to be. But earlier this year, God revealed to me what I needed to do.” -Shawneice Uniquelycomplex.com
What Can You Gain With Self Acceptance?
For me, if I just sat in acceptance for a bit I would have more room to let love in. My husband had to accept me, otherwise he wouldn’t have married me. What kind of marriage could we have if I let his love in? Imagine if we all started to accept ourselves, how would that force the hand of others? By being accepting of ourselves we are taking the power back. I wouldn’t be so concerned with wanting to be happy vs wanting to be thinner and be able to just live my life.
I’m not saying we should stay in the land of acceptance. I think we should always be striving to make ourselves better. Everyone has a different version of better. Don’t let someone else’s idea of better be yours-unless that is truly what you want. Don’t do it for them however, do it for yourself. As long as you are working towards that destination, it doesn’t matter how long the journey is or what makes it up.
Is Self Acceptance An Excuse?
Being accepting doesn’t translate to excuses. It can be easy to tell ourselves we are making excuses. Especially when all we do is criticize and judge ourselves. These aren’t excuses. It’s called every day life. I always feel like I have to do everything by myself. I grew up knowing I could only rely on myself. When I don’t meat my goals I feel like a failure. The thought of giving things up to other people is out of the question. Things don’t get done as quickly or the way I want them. What would happen if I didn’t do it all? Would I be a failure for not accomplishing something? Or, would I become better at something else because I devoted more quality time to it?
Having self acceptance doesn’t mean you are giving up or making excuses. It means you are being kind to yourself and giving yourself a much need break. As much as you want to do and have it all, it’s perfectly fine if you don’t. So cut yourself a little slack. You deserve it.